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‘The real reason my father-in-law refuses to talk to me’

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I used to get on very well with my father-in-law, Dave. He has a great sense of humour and he’s very loving and caring. He’s a fantastic grandfather to my daughter and we all adore him.

But everything changed when I did something very stupid. I was feeling low, and also feeling neglected that my partner Liam wasn’t paying me much attention. I’ve always been the centre of attention and when our daughter was born, I really struggled with that shift of attention away from me.

And so I went back to work when she was six months old and that’s when I had an affair with a co-worker. It was a really dumb thing to do and he didn’t love me – he was just using me for sex. I guess I was too in a way.

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“I never thought I’d get caught.” (Getty)

I never thought I’d get caught but I stupidly kept all of his text messages, including the ones he sent when he was breaking up with me. And I left my phone unlocked in the bedroom one night. Liam had heard multiple notifications and glanced at my phone. The other dumb thing I did is I didn’t change the name of the man I was sleeping with to a fake name. So he saw the name Adam pop up and he saw red. He confronted me and I confessed. I had to confess, I had no choice as Liam saw all the text messages – most of them were very sexual.

So Liam left me, he told his family I was cheating on him. His dad Dave sent me a message saying I should be ashamed of myself and that I’m never welcome at their home again. Fair enough!

But a few months later Liam came back to me. We went through relationship therapy and we are doing well now. But my FIL still won’t welcome me into the home. His ex wife, my MIL is fantastic and forgiving so I’m welcome at her place with my daughter at any time.

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Though Liam and I worked everything out, my father-in-law refuses to accept it. (Getty)

But it’s very upsetting that Dave wants nothing to do with me. In fact, he hasn’t said a word to me since he sent that brutal text message when he found out I was cheating.

It’s getting very difficult as we get closer to Christmas. According to Liam, his dad will join us but won’t be acknowledging me. That will make for a very awkward day, so I’ve suggested that Liam takes our daughter to Dave’s house on Christmas morning and then we can catch up later. I’m not going to sit at a table and pretend everything is fine when my FIL is ignoring me, that’d just be ridiculous. Our daughter senses something is up.

Recently we had a picnic and Liam invited his dad – so Dave turned up and didn’t even look at me, it was like I was invisible to him! My little girl turned to me and said “Is grandpa cross with you?” So hopefully this can be resolved. If Liam can forgive and forget then surely his father can too.

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