Domestic violence and dealing drugs at 10 years old: Black Ferns star’s harrowing childhood

*Content warning: Some readers may find parts of this story distressing

New Zealand rugby star Ruby Tui has opened up about her turbulent upbringing, admitting she experimented with methamphetamine as a 10-year-old.

Speaking on TVNZ’s Sunday programme, Tui revealed physical violence, alcohol and drugs were the norm in her youth.

Involved in drug dealing and “having this guilt” she was killing people, Tui said tried to take her own life.

“I was so upset as a 10-year I didn’t want to live, so I was scraping the barrel to find positivity in my life during that age,” she told Sunday.

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A low point came when she witnessed a friend of her father’s die from a drug overdose at the age of 10. Tui herself was involved in drug dealing at the same age, living in Wellington with her father, and tried methamphetamine and marijuana.

She said she had a difficult upbringing with her parents often clashing and a turbulent home life. “Mum would often ring the cops”. Her parents separated with her mother meeting someone new, but Tui said the violence was worse.

“A lot more thuds and bumps than with mum and dad and it just became a bit of a hell for me as a kid.”

She told the Sunday programme she was struck in the face by her stepfather one day when her mother was at work, but didn’t have the heart to tell her after a long day at her job.

At her father’s place in Wellington there was plenty of temptation with drugs rampant.

“There was a joint going around, canisters of stuff, a pipe of P (methamphetamine). I didn’t know what P was really. It was just the powered one, the smoke was a bit thicker. It was just a normal thing and I thought to be cool that’s what you did.”

She and her mother were fortunate enough to escape to a women’s refuge and get out of that lifestyle – which Tui said took tremendous courage.

After a troubled youth, Tui found her saviour in sport and rugby – going on to attend the University of Canterbury in Christchurch.

Tui has been a regular fixture in the Black Ferns Sevens since being discovered in the Go4Gold campaign in 2012.

The 30-year-old won an Olympic silver medal in 2016 and a Rugby World Cup Sevens title in 2018. She was named Black Ferns Sevens Player of the Year in 2017 and World Rugby Sevens player of the year in 2019. She went onto win gold at the Tokyo Olympics.

Tui made her Black Ferns’ rugby union debut against Australia in Tauranga in the opening round of the Pacific Four Series in June.

Playing on the wing, she will be a pivotal member of the side at the Women’s Rugby World Cup on home soil, which begins against Australia at Eden Park on October 8.

WHERE TO GET HELP:

• 1737, Need to talk? – Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor
• Depression.org.nz – 0800 111 757 or text 4202
• Lifeline – 0800 543 354
• Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
• Kidsline – 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.
• Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234, email [email protected], or find online chat and other support options here.
• Rural Support Trust – 0800 787 254
• Samaritans – 0800 726 666
• What’s Up – 0800 942 8787 (for 5–18 year olds). Phone counselling available Monday-Friday, noon–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm. Online chat is available 3pm–10pm daily.
• thelowdown.co.nz – Web chat, email chat or free text 5626
• Anxiety New Zealand – 0800 ANXIETY (0800 269 4389)
• Supporting Families in Mental Illness – 0800 732 825.

If it is an emergency click here to find the number for your local crisis assessment team. In a life-threatening situation call 111.