‘Road House’ is back, dumb and lovable as the original

It’s the equivalent of a cinematic Snickers bar, and that’s sort of what it needs to be.

We’re talking about the remake of “Road House,” an action-packed guilty pleasure that takes off once a particular person arrives to flex his muscles.

Too bad some of that actor’s hyperactive energy didn’t spill over into “Palm Royale,” a huge, lethargic disappointment from Apple TV+. We also review the documentary “Carol Doda Goes Topless,” two worthy horror movies, a bad Netflix rom-com and a beautiful drama about the relationship between a soldier and a fox.

Here’s our roundup.

“Road House”: Remember that iconic, flinch-worthy “Pulp Fiction” sequence in which John Travolta plunges an enormous needle full of adrenaline into the chest of Uma Thurman in order to bring her back to life? MMA fighter Conor McGregor does the same thing for this did-we-really-need-one remake.

Don’t get me wrong, what transpires up to his arrival is interesting enough, but not so much as to convince us a redo of the classic 1989 guilty pleasure with Patrick Swayze was necessary. It’s at the midway point when McGregor shows up and unleashes his inner beast that “Road House” comes out fighting and never stops.

He all but strongarms this movie, but the versatile Jake Gyllenhaal is also in fighting shape. Gyllenhaal plays disgraced ex-UFC fighter Dalton who signs on for a new job as a bouncer, offered rather ridiculously by Frankie (Jessica Williams), for her trouble-prone bar in the Florida Keys. Her place has become a magnet for brawls, most of ‘em instigated by the hired fists of Brandt (Billy Magnussen), the whiny son of a mob boss. Once Dalton shows up, he knocks his way through most of Brandt’s sputtering crew, until unstoppable, human powder keg Knox (McGregor) comes calling and is hellbent on taking Dalton out.

Everyone onboard this Amazon Prime movie seems to be in on the joke that this is hardly an Oscar contender, including fleet-footed Gyllenhaal. McGregor’s cheeky performance (his first scene is hysterical) leads to a cacophony of bloody, outrageous fights with Brandt. If that’s not enough to quench your craving for action, director Doug Liman gives us even more mayhem and destruction in the water with boats (props to the crocs!) “Road House” is an unabashed, go-for-broke guilty pleasure on its own terms; even if the original still holds a special place in our hearts. Details: 3 stars out of 4; drops March 21 on Amazon Prime.

“Palm Royale”: A lack of energy and absence of a compelling storyline make this eagerly awaited talent-laden 10-part as flat a 7-Up left out poolside overnight.

Creator Abe Silva reworks Juliet McDaniel’s novel “Mr. & Mrs. American Pie” to tell the uninspired story of a boring and utterly bland protagonist, social climber Maxine (Kristen Wiig, who never gets a bead on her poorly written character). The crux of this over-extended story hinges on Maxine’s pursuit to ascend to the top ranks of 1969 Palm Beach high society, and to knock from her country club perch snobby put-down queen Evelyn (Allison Janney, punching each barb up like she should).

While there are catfights aplenty, most come off as perfunctory and declawed. The same applies to most of the other interactions, none of which ever seem to hit the right comedic mark. Helping punch things up a little are the divine Carol Burnett (who can, with one eye roll, generate huge laughs) and Ricky Martin, in a charming role as poolside bartender/pseudo-caregiver Robert to Maxine’s bedridden aunt-in-law (Burnett). Robert is the most likable of a predictable lot and Martin’s adorable in the part. His character is given more depth than anyone around him, including Maxine. And therein lies the problem. Not having a strong central character sets the series adrift with nothing for the audience to cling to. “Palm Royale” never comes together, and that’s a shame, given the tone-rich performances by Burnett and Martin. Details: 1½ stars; three episodes drop March 20 followed by new episodes every Wednesday through May 8.

“Carol Doda Topless at the Condor”: This lively doc by Bay Area directors Marlo McKenzie and Jonathan Parker relates in colorful fashion the cultural impact of the buxom Doda, a Bay Area performer who shocked the nation when she took off her top and later her bottoms while dancing at the Condor Club in San Francisco’s North Beach. Details about her childhood and marriage remain cloaked in as much mystery as the 1983 death of Condor bouncer James Ferrozzo on the nightclub’s piano. But gossipy bits — including Frank Sinatra taking a shine to her — get sprinkled into this compelling documentary. Co-produced by Metallica’s Lars Ulrich, “Doda” comes most alive when depicting the bustling ‘60s-’70s S.F. nightlife scene. But this will enjoyable for anyone interested in the history of San Francisco and its colorful inhabitants. Details: 3 stars; in theaters March 21.

“Late Night With the Devil”: So what did go terribly wrong during the live 1977 Halloween broadcast of the late-night talk show “Night Owls” with host Jack Delroy (David Dastmalchian)?  A hell of a lot. The Australian brothers filmmaking team of Colin and Cameron Cairnes sweat all the devilish details — the set, the hairstyles, the commercials, the “Exorcist” vibe — for one of this year’s best horror films, which comes with welcome comedic moments. The brothers don’t skimp on the gore in this found-footage-style movie about an infamous talk show host who runs into trouble after he has a parapsychologist skeptic and a possessed young woman on his show. They clash and deaths soon follow.  Dastmalchian makes a dashing host, with the Cairnes giving him a dark side as well. This has the potential for turning into a cult classic. Details: 3½ stars; in theaters March 22.

“Irish Wish”: We can safely say that not one brain cell was killed — or strained or even moderately exerted — during the making of this film. This disposable, fantasy-light Netflix rom-com timed to St. Patrick’s Day is stridently forgettable, even if the charms of Lindsay Lohan and her BFF Ayesha Curry, and others in the cast, are not. The setup finds book editor Maddie (Lohan) attending the wedding of her author client and secret crush (Alexander Vlahos) to one of her best friends (Elizabeth Tan). Toss in a cute photographer (Ed Speleers) and an ancient stone that apparently grants wishes and you have everything you need for a formulaic love story. Curry is given little to do, and that’s a shame, since she’s a natural in front of the camera. Here’s wishing on an ancient stone she and Lohan wind up in a better movie next time. Details: 1½ stars, now on Netflix.

“You’ll Never Find Me”: On a dark and stormy night near the seaside somewhere in Australia, a female stranger (Jordan Cowan) knocks on the door of a trailer. A bearded, suspicious man (Brendan Rock) lets her in, a compassionate action that then leads to a cat-and-mouse conversation that starts to reveal contradictions as the night wears on. In their feature debut, Josiah Allen and Indianna Bell — who also wrote the screenplay — contain most of that duplicity within the claustrophobic confines of a messy trailer. Through the use of sound (the storm lashes on throughout the night) and shadowy cinematography, a great sense of unease cloaks this taut bone-chiller, a chamber piece played to perfection by its two leads. Details: 3 stars; available to stream March 22 on Shudder.

Find of the Week

“The Fox”: In this compassionate, beautiful film set mostly in the 1930s, the life of the filmmaker’s great-grandfather serves as inspiration for an emotional parable about a soldier’s love for a fox. When taciturn, withdrawn Austrian soldier Franz (Simon Morzé) discovers a wounded fox in the woods, he immediately takes the cute critter under his wing, and the two form an unshakeable bond. Each basically becomes the comfort animal for the other, with the fox even traveling with Franz to France as the Nazis storm that country. Director Adrian Goiginger’s beautifully shot and acted drama (Morzé makes Franz achingly vulnerable) illustrates the evolution of this sensitive young man who, as a child, was indentured to a farmer by his desperate father and later volunteered to join the army just after his servitude ended and he had nowhere to go. The war itself plays in the background, but Goiginger doesn’t soft pedal the horrors of what happened. “The Fox” is not only a touching story about this poignant relationship between a human and an animal, but also a primer in how to forgive those who we feel have trespassed against us. Details: 3½ stars; available to rent March 22 on Amazon and Apple TV+.

Contact Randy Myers at [email protected].